UNHOLY TUESDAY

Yes. It is still holy week and Tuesday had passed.

The theme for HolyTuesday: Repentance. The beautiful hymn of Kassiani is sung while we the faithful turn our attention towards the woman who anointed Jesus with precious myrrh and washed His feet. It is truly time to reflect upon our sinfulness and ask for repentance.

Firstly, if I am to talk here about sinfulness, my God! I would need more than a blog to enumerate everything.

I remember this time when I was kid when we were forced by our teachers to confess our sins to a priest. One Sunday, we were obliged to go to the church in our newly pressed church clothes, which I truly loathe. Anyway, we would fall in line to that funny looking box, were the priests, uhmmmm, do whatever in the bloody world they are supposed to do inside.

Then, it was my turn, I have to kneel and speak through a screen.

"Forgive me father for I have sinned. I saw a bold magazine and I enjoyed it!"

Hahahaha. Those were the days.

For all I care, sins are nothing but sins. Whether we like it or not, we commit sins and even though that we would keep on repenting over and over again, we still tend to commit these sins. I dunno but maybe perhaps it is in the nature of human beings to be sinful. But let me first be clear that I am not talking about sins here as prohibited by the church, for I really don't give a fucking damn on what they say that we should do and should not do. I'm talking about the sins that we commit to ourselves and to other people, not necessarily to their god. The sins, which we know by heart.

Maybe, perhaps we enjoy it.

We enjoy hurting other people.

We enjoy hurting ourselves.

Maybe that is just how the world works. Otherwise, there's no fucking thrill in living.

So . . . . . . for all the people that've hurt me . . . . . . . . don't worry . . . . . . . Melch knows who does not pay. I will not just smile at you and say that you are forgiven moreover I will make it to the point that I will haunt you 'till the last strand of my life, just to make you suffer and make you realize that, what you have done to me . . . . . is wrong. And even though you're already dead, if I have to revive you, I would, just to cease the life out of you again.

So . . . . . . for all the people that I've hurt . . . . . . . . . don't worry . . . . . . . . . . You can just fuck off and pray that I'll die soon.

Or maybe perhaps the sins that we know are in fact virtues. Our bloody society just twisted our minds to think otherwise. Ssssssssssssssssh! Who knows?